Tonight as I write this, a family waits to hear if their little girl is lost at sea.
Sixteen-year-old Abby Sunderland was sailing around the world all by herself, a daring – maybe even reckless — attempt that her parents supported.
Her parents said she activated two emergency beacons after they lost contact with her when they were talking with her on her cell phone. Earlier, she had blogged about rough weather. Experts say a person lost at sea can survive 12 days without water, and, as of this writing, the hope is that Abby is alive and can be rescued.
Many people have been expressing outrage that parents could let a 16-year-old try such a dangerous undertaking. Her parents have responded that they thought their daughter was prepared for the journey. In fact, her older brother had successfully sailed around the world by himself at 17 years old. Sure, they said, tragedy could happen, but it also could happen in traffic on her way home from a school dance.
My daughter is 20. Would I have let her sail around the world at 16? No way in hell.
And yet…
And yet, I gladly paid for whatever my daughter wanted to try. Soccer. Gymnastics. Horseback riding camp. I never knew when a hobby could turn into something that would change her life.
I have taught my daughter to believe in herself, to refuse to let fear get in the way of her dreams. I know that a teen’s brain is not yet ripe, that the part of their brain that correctly assesses the consequences of risk is not yet fully developed.
So, what if my daughter’s dream, the obsession for which she trained and practiced, was something that could cost her her life? Would I try to keep her safe at all costs and crush her dream? Or would I let her follow that dream and worry that more than her hope might be crushed? How much of letting our young ones go is sink or swim – literally, in the Sunderlands’ case?
I don’t know the answer to that, so I can’t condemn the Sunderlands. I just hope that their daughter is found, that she is safe, and that she goes on to sail after more dreams.
While I am not sure what I would do in the same situation, I am afraid that I would let my fear dictate my choice. Standing outside of the situation, I have nothing but admiration for this young lady and her family. I am envious of her passion and fearlessness in pursuing her dreams.I wish to be more like these parents who prepare their children to conquer their worlds. I will pray for them and hope for her safe return. If this story ends without her safe return, I pray that these parents remain confident that they made the best choice for their daughter and rejoice that she left this earth while living passionately and pursuing her dream.
The good news is that Abby Sunderland was found safe. Of course, the issue of whether she should have been encouraged to go on this trip remain.